Amazingly useful useless things we've taught the toddler

This week, we taught the kiddo how to "zerbert" someone's belly. This is also called "rasberries". Regardless of what you call it, we call it fun.

We also taught him how to "zerbert" his hands. This is very similar to making "fart noises", but what responsible parent would teach such a thing. Tacky. And crass.

Lastly, we long ago taught him how to use lotion, and he has been very fond of lotioning both his belly and his arms.

Now we have taught him the joy of lotioning other people. It's as if spas employed little woodland gnomes who emerge from their warm burroughs to gently rub lotion onto your drying skin.

Or maybe like the shoemaker and the elves, except its lotion. Or maybe it's like you're a giant piece of soft candy and an oompa-loompa moseys over to smear tasty icing on your legs.

It's kind of like all those things and really cool.